Sometimes I wonder if the reason I get so worked up about breastfeeding is because I'm still challenging the views inside myself.
This is definitely true in some respects. It's hard to turn around 23 years of societal influence regarding breastfeeding. I'm still nervous every time I feed Noah in public - which is rare because I try to feed him at home. I'm nervous nursing him anywhere in front of others besides Bryan because nursing a toddler is so rare in the US.
I think I get worked up because I feel like I'm always on the defensive - even when no one says anything to me about it, I worry about what they are thinking.
You would never know that I was nervous about it and if someone asked me something while nursing him, I wouldn't bat an eye. Yet, that lingering self-consciousness is there.
This is probably why I am so passionate about it. I shouldn't have to feel that way about feeding my baby. Why aren't public places more "mommy-friendly"? When we go out, I have a hard time to finding a chair to sit in to nurse him, let alone somewhere somewhat quiet. (Babies get distracted ya know!). And I'm not about to go to the bathroom and sit on a toilet to feed my child, as suggested by many people to nursing moms (esp. in restaurants).
I know that I am the only person who can allow myself to be insecure but the way society views nursing a toddler and the sheer rarity of it (in public) does not help.
Part of me wants to start nursing him whenever and whereever on purpose, just to make the breastfeeding mom more visible.
If we don't start nursing our babies in public, it will always stay a taboo.
A lovely wordless post about this.