Showing posts with label mother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mother. Show all posts

Thursday, May 5, 2011

For my mom, Kristine

my mom with Noah on Easter 09


I must have been 2 years old, maybe 3. The salty evening air whipped my hair around my face,; my heart pounded with fear. My mother held me against her tightly, pointing to the sky, “Sarah, it’s your favorite color, pink!” Each new crack and “wheeewwww” in the air lit up the sky with color- I buried my head into her soft, sunscreen scented skin and breathed in comfort.

Around 8 or 9, my mom let me ride with her to business meetings. Sometimes they would be 7 hour trips, just me and her. I would watch her twirl her wedding rings around with her thumb, long slender fingers tapping the steering wheel impatiently. I wanted to be just like her. Once at a hotel, we watched movies, swam and put on self-tanner all day long. At home, I would look at all her high heels and wish my feet fit into them.... we’d sit in church and her shoe would dangle off her foot when she crossed her legs…and she would look beautiful.

Her youth has always felt palpable to me. At the age of 22, she delivered me. I was her third child (out of five). I remember being aware of her age for the first time when she was 29 and since then, she has not seemed to age.

My mother is incredible. She is full of energy, happiness and light. She is one of the most resilient people I know. I watched her sob over her firstborn son’s body the morning he passed away and in that moment I realized that she was not only my mother but I was her daughter and that was her son, her baby. She loves us. She worked so hard for us, changing diapers (for 17 years), working night after night as a party plan manager/consultant, making huge pots of stew on Sundays….  Her life story would wrap around my entire blog twice. What would have crippled others has made my mother who she is today.

She is a successful entrepreneur and always has taught me that I can achieve my dreams. She taught me to be independent and courageous.  She taught me not to be ashamed of who I am and to speak the truth without fear. She is a fiercely loyal person and a supremely protective mother. She used to say that being a mother was like being a lioness- she would tell me that a lioness would attack without hesitation anything that could threaten her children. I didn’t understand what she meant until I had Noah. The instinctual prowess of a mother is unexplainable. She stood by me as I breastfed Noah for the first time and defended my decision to birth Audrey at home...she respects me as an adult and parent and I appreciate that more than she will ever know.

She taught me to love Jesus and accept Him as my Saviour. She sees the positive side of everything and her favorite color is yellow. She is most beautiful without makeup and her laugh wraps everything in gold.

Many times in my life, people have said, “you are JUST like your mother!” And now I realize how wonderful of a thing that is.
I love you Mom. Thank you for being my friend, my mom and a beacon of light in our family.
Happy Mother’s Day. 

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas Eve!

Mmm. What a better way to start the day by sleeping in for an extra hour, having your hubby take your baby sledding, drinking coffee, and starting a blog post in the peace and quiet that is a house filled with washing machines running.

There isn't. :-)

Wonderful news. Everything is all set for the birth financially. Our HSA will be able to cover any extra costs incurred and we don't have to worry anymore about the possibility of paying out of pocket. I'm now free to focus on preparing for the birth and getting all the supplies together.

I ordered the birthing pool last night and after MUCH debate over the La Bassine, Aquaborn, and BPIAB (birth pool in a box), I decided to go with the simplest option, the La Bassine. The Aquaborn is deeper and comes with a lid, but it also takes longer to fill and was going to be $40 more in the end AND it's a bright green color and I sorta envisioned a blue pool. I want to feel calm and centered and I think the lime green color would be distracting. The BPIAB has a lot of great features but in the end, just too expensive right now. The La Bassine has been proven over and over through many births, reliable, quick to inflate and fill and a beautiful blue oval shape with see through walls which I found really nice.

I'm so excited!!! I am really in baby la la land right now and can't WAIT for this baby to be here. Our first home visit is the first week in January and that's really solidifying the whole thing for me. It's happening. We're going to have another little baby. I'm just over the moon right now and can't wait to meet her. Second pregnancies are really more fun because you know ahead of time how incredibly in love you are going to be with your baby. With Noah, it bowled me over. I had NO idea the fierce instinctual feeling of love and protection a mother feels. I had no idea that your whole body physiologically changes... its like your nerves become alive and you can suddenly SEE and FEEL everything.

Mothering is such a privilege. I am so thankful that I've been allowed the chance to experience it.

Have a wonderful Christmas Eve!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Lyme.

Lyme disease (LD) is an infection caused by Borrelia burgdorferi, a type of bacterium called a spirochete (pronounced spy-ro-keet) that is carried by deer ticks. (from ALDF.com)


It's also a disease that is taking its toll on my mother. We don't know how long she has been suffering with Lyme but she is newly diagnosed and started on antibiotics. For her privacy, I won't mention many details but just that, I'm realizing how horrific any type of "chronic" illness can be. (There is an argument going on to whether Lyme is chronic or can be chronic....).

She is going through a particularly bad spell right now (usually when someone is taking medication for Lyme, the bacteria "fight back" so to speak and your symptoms can become much more severe- yet this is necessary to kill the bacteria). Seeing her in pain and knowing that everytime she takes the medication that is supposed to make her better, she gets even more sick, is heart breaking.

It's frustrating that I'm not able to do anything to make this better. I remember her being tired...pretty much my whole life. I know that most mothers of 5 would be tired but this was REALLY tired. Just no energy, depression, etc... its scary to think that she might have been suffering from this since I was born.

Overall, I'm posting just to ask everyone to watch the movie "Under Our Skin"

 The documentary is eye-opening and enters you into the pain, frustration and severity of what Lyme patients are going through right now in our country. Chances are you know someone who has Lyme, and if you didn't before you read this post, now you do.

Monday, February 1, 2010