Staying at home has its ups and downs. Some days I feel so antsy to get out the house I think I'm going to explode. Other days there is nothing more peaceful and wonderful than being at home and cleaning.
This morning started off as an explode day. Bryan was leaving late for a 1/2 day at work. I had the brilliant idea that Noah and I would drop him off and spend a couple of hours jaunting around Burlington, happy as larks. We would shop, we would read books at Barnes and Noble and have muffins at Healthy Living. Noah had other ideas. We arrived at the gas station no more than 3 minutes down the road and the screaming ensued. His tired little face turning red and angry and my previously happy demeanor turning...a-g-i-t-a-t-e-d. ARGH Why can't I just go and do whatever I want for 4 hours?! WAH WAH WAH. Pity Party for Sarah. We returned home because we forgot the debit card- I decided we should just stay. I carried Noah upstairs to nurse him to sleep for his nap, feeling a bit resigned to domestication the whole way.
As soon as his little arms hugged my neck and his eyes fluttered into light sleep and his little body relaxed.....my agitation just melted. What was I so mad about? Who cares if I can't go to barnes and noble today? I get to stay home and enjoy this precious baby all day. How privileged am I? He is sleeping now and I get to stand over him and soak it all in. Being a mother is the best job in the world- even if it means you get cabin fever once in a while.
I understand though that many people NEED to get out of the house. I'm one of them to some extent. As long as I get one day where I can out for a couple of hours during the week, I'm totally fine to be home all week. I do miss working but there is no work that I miss enough to actually want to leave Noah to return to. Granted, we do need the money, but at this point I'd rather be in debt and enjoy my son's company. I'll do whatever it takes to make money from home so I can stay with him. Sometimes it feels more difficult to make ends meet but I guess that's why the best things in life require sacrifice.
Aside, Please Lord, bring summer back to us SOON. February and March are my crazy months.