Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Baby #2

The need to blog overcomes the need to sleep. Incredibly.

May 26, 2010     

Take 2

As soon as I got out of work, I ran to Hannafords to get avocados (Noah’s staple) and some lunch foods for Bryan. Also, pregnancy tests.

Pink line pregnancy tests. Not blue lines, PINK. Apparently, the blue lined tests are considered less reliable. See, I had taken 3 Clear Blue Easy tests the past two days and, they came back negative but with this weird very very very light shadow where the positive would be.

I already just knew that I was pregnant, BUT, only a strong positive line would really. Convince. Me. and solidify that this WAS happening.

I had had two vivid pregnancy dreams (which I’ve only had when pregnant), strong headaches, nausea, forgetfulness, sharp cramps around implantation time, food aversions and heightened sense of smell.

This morning, I couldn’t drink my coffee and the cramps have been unbearable.

Uh oh.

Sure enough, two positives.! 12 days past ovulation and I haven’t even missed my period yet.

I don’t know what it is about the 26th of months, but I found out that I was pregnant with Noah on the 26th of March 2008. Now, 26th of May 2010… there’s another little one growing away.  

I’m scared. Our ducks are so NOT in a row. BUT I am so excited and happy. I’m worried mostly that I might miscarry. I don’t have any reason to believe I will, but I’m already in love with this sweet pea and it’s only been a day of knowing for sure that he/she is in there.

Time for sleep, time to dream…..

May 27th

No period. I was scared to go to the bathroom all day because I thought that maybe AF would show and I’d be dealing with a loss instead of a monthly annoyance.

Feeling better today after a full night of sleep. I don’t think I can handle the night shift. I felt HORRIBLE before, and now that I’ve had a chance to sleep, I’m feeling much better.

How to make money without working?! We can survive on Bryan’s income but we won’t be paying our student loans. I may be able to get them deferred if I go back to school for lactation but it’s really not in our best interest financially.

So many issues. I’m thinking about trying my hand at making sewing slings. Wouldn’t bring in a lot of income but might be enough to float us. Lots of ideas….we’ll see how long I last working nights.

Baby’s heart might be starting to beat any day now. Wish I could get an early ultrasound to see!  <3

June 8, 2010

We had our first baby appt yesterday morning. We just went into to talk to the midwives that I’m interested in seeing and it went really well.  I’m hoping for a home birth this time. I’ll go into it more later.

I am completely and utterly exhausted right now. I’ve been barely able to keep my eyes open all night. I told my supervisor when I came in for my shift and thankfully she was understanding about it.  Literally, I’m falling asleep writing this………..I pray that I’m able to get some sleep today. I’m hoping to get into bed by 4 pm and sleep till 10 pm. That way I’ll get a solid 6 hours straight….oh man, that sounds glorious right noww.

I’m nervous about leaving my job because of the financial strain of it. We have a month till I am done here. One month to budget, save  a little and try to figure out how we’re going to make ends meet for the next two years or more of course.

I’m just now into my 6th week. The exhaustion and food aversions are in full swing.

June 10th, 2010

This is my last night of working 4 nights a week. I only have to work three from now on until July 7th which is my last day working nights. I’m SO thankful that my supervisor was understanding and flexible with me. I just can’t do it. I am 10x more tired than normal which is… um… horrible.

I can barely make it through the day with Noah and then barely drive to work at night. I’m falling asleep as I type beause any mundane activity makes me nod off.

Starting to feel a little swollen in the belly area….not my post-Noah belly but by my hips where the uterus starts to rise up into. It’s a crazy feeling. I wish I could have an ultrasound just so I knew that everything was okay with the baby..I’ll probably schedule it sometime near my first prenatal appt on july 9. I’ll be almost 10 weeks at that point.

June 14th, 2010

Morning sickness/ all day sickness….pregnancy sickness.

AGH. I feel horrible. I feel like I have the worst flu of my life. This is miserable. I can barely stand to look in the refrigerator…..or go near the dishes. dear Lord, help me.

At work… dying and its only 12:30. Aufkjshfuihekjbuhj

Need to eat because I am so hungry but afraid to walk into the kitchen.

Being nauseated is probably the worst feeling ever. AGH I forgot how miserable this was with Noah…. Really… after this….I might be done having children.

I don’t feel 100% sure about the gender at all..I want to say it’s a girl but I don’t have a true gut feeling I don’t think.

Makes me worry about twins. Does that even happen in people with no genetic predisposal to twins? I would be so shocked and scared if that happened to me..I can’t even imagine TWO babies with a 2 yr old….yikes! I don’t know why I keep thinking about the twins thing…probably because I’m petrified of it!

My belly isn’t showing yet or anything but I am definitely more bloated. My pants are starting to get uncomfortable to button and at the end of the day I can feel a bit of bump veryy low. Its crazy……I can’t believe that we are actually having another baby.

Into the 7th week…..hoping the morning sickness goes away!!!!

I have to laugh at myself a little bit though….I remember during my pregnancy with Noah, I was miserable as well….there are so many aches and pains that come with being pregnant. It’s a lot more than having a cute baby bump. I can’t wait until the good part comes….the kicking baby, the ultrasound, the one fleeting day where pregnancy makes you feel like this beautiful goddess.

Excuse me while I try not to throw up………what are the benefits of only having two children?

July 1st, 2010

The past couple of weeks have been brutal. Its starting to get a little better but I hate even typing that because I’m so scared that it will get worse. My smell aversions are through the roof.

Need someone to figure out where you have mold in your house? I’m your girl. Literally, if there is ANY mold anywhere, I can smell it a mile away. EWww…

Bryan is being wonderful and has done the dishes for me the past 4 weeks and also completely cleaned out the refrigerator because I couldn’t even be in our kitchen at all without throwing up. I lived upstairs and at my moms.

Ugh….tired. Next week is my last week of nights. Thank goodness. I feel much better when I’m sleeping normally. Also, if I’m eating like every hour, I feel okay. Once my stomach gets empty, its all over.

Today at 10 am, we have our first ultrasound. I’m excited. Hoping the baby is doing well despite my lack of nutrition.

My lack of blogging is beoming pathetic right now. I feel terrible for not keeping up with it. I’m just … brainless….. I can’t think. I’m too sick to even muster a product review or post pictures of Noah. It’s just. Sad.

Hoping things get back to normal soon.

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