Grace Based Parenting
Here are some sites/articles that I feel are very good resources about parenting your child in a loving manner without being permissive. It IS possible to set boundaries without using physical pain.
Mothering MagazineLove & Logic
Gentle Christian Mothers
Get Off Your Butt Parenting
A post by Dr.Momma at http://www.drmomma.org/2010/02/gentle-discipline-staying-course.html
If you followed the first link "spare the rod" you would have found yourself at the Arms of Love Family Fellowship's website. This site has a plethora of information (that's right, I said plethora) about gentle and grace based discipline in a Christian perspective. I have found this to be my most informative site on this issue.